The Free Range, Grass Fed, High Altitude Kitten Ranch

Free Range Run

2010-10-30T08:24:00.002-06:00

Visual images can be a powerful tool. An imagined
visual image can illicit various physiological responses ranging from increased heart rate to muscle fiber twitching. Visualization can also be used as a way to override the pain response during uncomfortable experiences. They can also be used to create a desired emotional state, as in the case of recalling pleasant memories from the past.

The infinite expanse of one's imagination allows for a creative playground of self-directed or meandering streams of thought - a double edged sword of sorts. Learn to harness the thought/visual process, and you've got an infinitely powerful tool. Likewise, if the mind is allowed to dwell on the negative and meaningless, and this incredible resource grows dark and clouded.

If creative visualization is the ultimate tool of the mind, then creative visualization of cats - the jesters of this world - is the ultimate of the ultimate!

This morning, while out for a trail run, I used this ultimate, ultimate mind power to visualize myself running with a herd of free range organic kittens, and their massive kitten mom. Yea, it was weird, but humor can be a powerful pain killer, and running is painful, so it's a good match-up.

On the hills, I would imagine myself grabbing the tail of the 10 foot tall mother cat, and being pulled along. On the steep downhill sections, I'd imagine myself draping my arms over the necks of two four foot tall kittens running on either side of me. On the flat stuff, the massive kittens would act as my pacers - though for a while, Jan Brady was pacing me on her red banana seat bike.

In the end, these wacky visuals acted to make the run more pleasant by getting my mind off the soreness in my calves and thighs, and making me laugh at the idea of being paced and prodded along by a herd of wild kittens.

The mind is infinitely more powerful than we recognize! Its just a matter of tuning out the "noise" to put our imaginations to work.

Happy running. Meow!

Plan B: Solitary Revolt in Zion

2010-10-17T00:58:00.008-06:00

Pillars of Thought

2010-10-09T19:40:00.007-06:00

Of all the canyons along the Wasatch Front, Little Cottonwood is one of the most beautiful and richest in history. From being the source of stone granite for the Salt Lake Temple back in the 1800's to being a one-time world-class destination for climbers and mountaineers from around the globe, this stone paradise has been a tremendous resource for many, and has captivated me since I first rounded the bend in the road at 17 years of age.

For over half of my lifetime I've been making frequent trips to the canyon to climb, hike, run, play, and think. I've seen the canyon change and evolve each year as man and nature run their course. The fast thaw earlier this year produced a tremendous amount of runoff, resulting in heavy trail erosion, destruction of a bridge or two, and permanent alterations in the river bottom.

As with the canyon, the forces of change continue to exert their powers in my life. Not always pleasant, and frequently painful, they drive me to the precipice of choice, the point in the depths of the mind and soul where a person has to choose to stand and fight the inclination to run, or give in and shrink to the hollow of despair and self-pity.

So, drawing on its scenic wonder and history, I took to the canyon late Friday afternoon to put into symbolic action what I call the "Pillars of Thought."

No good object lesson would work without literal mounds of equipment......

After forty-five minutes of hauling loads in, and three hours spent suspending ropes and steel cables from trees, the two bros, sister, nephews, sister-in-law, and Mother finally arrived in the early evening.

The Saturday previous, using ropes and pulleys, and suffering through the perplexed looks and questioning of a few climbers in the area, I was able to get a 200 pound rock on top of a ten foot tall boulder from its spot of origin 100 feet away.

The object of the activity Friday evening was - everyone working together - to safely rig and navigate the same rock off the top of the boulder, down through the trees, and over to a spot I'd chosen as the destination point. All of this suspended travel would require a number of suspended load transfers. The rule was that the rock had to stay suspended at all times, though it did once slip from the sling and glanc off my foot!

To maintain both lift and swing control, we had a few people pulling from below the boulder, and several atop the boulder maintaining tension on the control line.

With the right tools, this stuff can be done by wee babes!

James excels at managerial roles.... and looking studly!

Yea, even my Mom was pulling rope.....

Once down off the top of the boulder, the load had to be transferred to a suspended steel cable that would pulley the rock over to the next transfer spot fifty feet away - down hill.

Mike and Mariha running lines and keeping the load in check....

At the final leg, James and Mike really held things together to get the load to the final destination. Everybody did fantastic, especially considering it was dark, cold, creepy, and nobody had any previous technical rigging experience.

Discussion followed the delivery of the rock to the destination. The discussion centered around how we can use our imagination - literal mental imagery, clear and vivid - combined with core thoughts to bolster and fortify our thinking against the parasitic dross that is spewed out in the media today. These quality thought processes create literal pillars within our minds that elevate our thinking and fortify us against being victims of fear, doubt, anxiety, insecurity, etc.

The rock was symbolic of the loads that we shoulder during stressful periods in our lives. The oak stakes, driven into the ground, were representative of how individual, vivid, imaginative thought, wisely chosen, can act as pillars for even the heaviest of emotional, spiritual, and psychological burdens we face in life.

I'm not a psychologist. I've had no formal training in the field of counseling, and I've certainly got a whole host of challenges I'm working on. While this activity may have been a little "out there," what I can say is that I've experienced a tremendous bolstering of my abilities to handle my challenges as I've engaged my chosen five pillars of thought. At any moment, I can draw on the vivid imagery of these pillars, and the strength that comes is immediate, and calming.

I'm grateful that the human mind has the capacity to "see" within itself. Being able to tune out the "noise" and access this tremendous resource is possibly one of the greatest gifts man has at their disposal.

On a different note, its been said that you can learn more about a person in an hour of play, than a day of conversation. It was awesome to "play" with my family Friday night! What better place to be than in the greatest canyon on earth, with some of the choicest people on earth, in the very area where men used to hand quarry giant blocks of granite, all while playing with ropes and rocks!

Sun Tzu Also Say....

2010-08-19T20:32:00.002-06:00

Sun Tzu also say...."Child hit low and bruise ankle. Father hit hard and crack head."

The Art of War

2010-08-19T20:15:00.002-06:00

Sun Tzu says, "Child who use big stick, have father with many bruises."

For the Children

2010-07-24T14:43:00.003-06:00

Half Dome: 2000 Feet in 13 Hours

2010-06-20T17:53:00.015-06:00

The approach to Half Dome is a three hour slog up what is formally called the "Death Slabs" - for good reason..

We started climbing at about 6:45 in the morning, dispatching the first 600 feet of climbing in just over an hour.

Higher up, the climbing becomes steeper and more technical.

The majority of the climbing follows naturally occurring crack systems.

Andrew was in full cruise mode approaching the Big Sandy Ledges.

Snack time 3/4 of the way up.

By the time we hit the Zig Zag's we were definitely starting to feel it!

Just about to Thank God Ledge.

Just after Thank God Ledge, the flaring chimney above was like a meat grinder!!

Fifty feet from the top, the climbing was nice, exposed, and easy!!

Thirteen hours after blast off.....

The descent was almost as gnarly as the climbing. It required a 150 foot traverse across a snow slab that dropped off into a dark abyss. I found a stick to use as an ice axe, and kicked holes in the snow for my feet. Gripping!!

The next morning, we hiked down the Death Slabs and back to camp. A week later, I'm just starting to feel recovered.

What's a boy to do when he's too tired to climb mountains?

Another California King Snake we found when we were out climbing on Saturday.

Object Navigational Course

2010-04-14T21:22:00.006-06:00

Tonight, we took the Scouts up to the canyon to put them through what I call an "Object Navigation Course." That term should be trademarked by tomorrow morning, if I can get my team of overseas lawyers to bust a move!

The object of the exercise is to use overhead cable to transport a suspended object (a 70lb rock) from beginning to end - about 250 feet of forest terrain. The catch is that the 250 feet is not continuous, straight, or flat. It's broken into sections; makes sharp bends; and slants both up and down. This causes the participants to have to figure out how to do frequent "suspended load transfers," and at times use secondary rigging to keep the load from sliding down the line.

The nature of this kind of activity lends itself to creative problem solving, teamwork, logic, emotional self-regulation, an evolving leadership dynamic, and a whole host of other skill and character building opportunities.

The setting was specifically chosen to be late in the evening, with cold weather, and in a natural setting to add a further layer of "discomfort" to help expand the participant's operational comfort zones.

This is the "gear" the Scouts were allowed to use for rigging, etc. ......

The 70lb rock w/ pre-drilled anchors.......

The crew......

Here they go....

Initially, I offered a considerable amount of instruction, and did the majority of rigging myself. Shortly thereafter, the boys took over, with myself and Jason offering occasional direction.....

Its tough to be taken seriously as a hard man when you've got orange hair, but Caleb pulls it off somehow....

One of the first major load transfers....

Keep in mind, the rock had to remain suspended from the rope, and couldn't touch the ground or be manually lifted. Everything had to be done by rigging....

The green line in the picture goes up into the tree canopy. I didn't get a picture of it, but they had to use a rope swing to get the rock from one section of cable to the next, about 25-20 feet away.....

This load transfer took quite a bit of prefrontal cortical thinking.....

The downward slope beings......

Caleb kept a tight reign on the tag line so that the rock wouldn't bust lose and smash into somebody's head....

Finite!!!!! We celebrated with donuts!!!

Subject of Interpretation

2010-01-20T20:35:00.005-07:00

A few nights ago, I settled in for the evening by opting to wind down my brain by doing a little cursory doodling on a sketchpad. With no particular end in mind, my hand began to push the pen against the paper until a form began to take shape. Initially, what started out as a gaunt, bent leg eventually evolved into something curiously ambiguous.

At this point, I fought off the urge to fill in the space with objects that would give the picture greater context and perspective - instead deliberately choosing to leave the image open to interpretation. Thus, the "answers" aren't handed to the viewer on a silver platter. Instead, one is given the opportunity to decipher and judge.

So, what do you think?

In passing the picture around, I've noticed an assortment reactions ranging from rash judgement - meting an instantaneous assignment of meaning - to cautious exploration of the details, and the questioning of position and events.

Having drawn the picture, I've got a general idea of what meaning it has for me. But I think the real meaning goes beyond the image and hits upon the nature of the interaction between it and the viewer. In a small way, that interactive experience could be telling of the manner in which the individual approaches all encountered ambiguity - either rashly, or curiously studied.

While the rush to judgement is temping - superficially and hastily affirming our life's experiences, values, beliefs, etc. - curious examination and exploration of the details could just yield something of greater value than the self-stroking of our egos.

Red Pine Trail Chew

2010-01-01T16:44:00.006-07:00

Looking down the canyon from two miles up......

The spot where the trail splits to Maybird Gulch....

Just over the hill......

Is a creepy, sweaty bald dude.....

And Red Pine Lake....

Running late, time to put the burn on....

Happy New Year!!!!!

Eastern Soviet Block Playground

2009-11-25T20:07:00.002-07:00

We found this sweet WWII era Soviet-styled playground south of the in-laws in St. George. Two hours of killer play time, and nobody got impaled by rusty rebar!

A Cold Desert Night.....and Day: An Anthology in Twelve Pictures

2009-10-29T07:27:00.006-06:00

Proprioception

2009-10-24T19:43:00.005-06:00

I've been reading up lately on the neuroscience of play and also the bio-mechanics of barefoot running. There's an obnoxious drive within me to always be acting as an advocate for some cause. Why can't I just shut up and let people live their lives without getting all up in their faces about this or that research "they" did, and how good "this" is for you? Because life is short, and I'm psyched! So, for those interested in learning a little more about the barefoot stuff, I stole/modified the following from the Vibram FiveFingers website:

6 Reasons to Play Barefoot:

1. Strengthens Muscles in the Feet and Lower Legs - going barefoot will stimulate and strengthen muscles in the feet and lower legs, improving general foot health and reducing the risk of injury.

2. Improves Range of Motion in Ankles, Feet and Toes – no longer ‘cast’ in a shoe, the foot and toes move more naturally.

3. Stimulates Neural Function Important to Balance and Agility - when going barefoot, thousands of neurological receptors in the feet send valuable information to the brain, improving balance and agility.

4. Improves Proprioception and Body Awareness – those same neurological receptors heighten body awareness, sending messages about body mechanics, form, and movement.

5. Eliminates Heel Lift to Align the Spine and Improve Posture – By lowering the heel, our bodyweight becomes evenly distributed across the footbed, promoting proper posture and spine alignment.

6. Allows the Foot and Body to Move Naturally, Which Just FEELS GOOD.

Have fun......

More o' The Same Junk

2009-09-07T11:23:00.005-06:00

Obstacle Evolution

2009-09-05T18:24:00.003-06:00

The above was conjured up while I was cleaning out the garage Friday night.

Ash finally relented and let me cut down the two dying quaking aspen out front. I think it was a worthy sacrifice!

That's life in the ghetto, and this clip is of Jake training for El Cap 2012:

Chloe

2009-09-02T23:33:00.002-06:00

Creepy Doll: A Day In Pictures of Our Little Rascal

2009-05-17T14:24:00.007-06:00

A Scout Is.......... Indestructable

2009-05-14T21:25:00.002-06:00

Wednesday night was the last of the activities I'll be coordinating for the Varsity Scouts I've been "leading" for the past couple of years. The activity was a multi-stage obstacle course set in the trees and boulders in Little Cottonwood Canyon.

At the end of each of the five challenge activities, there was a symbol drawn on a piece of paper. When all of the activities had been completed, I gathered the four scouts together, arranged the five symbols on the ground, and offered up my swan song of advice that correlated with each symbol. This included finding your purpose in life through spiritual development; cultivating the mind; establishing friendships; making right choices; and having a clear vision of your ultimate goals. At the end, I stacked the five cards in a pile, poured white gas on them, and let them burn.

My goal as a scout leader was to offer these kids opportunities that they normally may not have a chance to experience. I wanted them to step out of their comfort zones and experience some discomfort and pain, and maybe even bleed a little. I wasn't always particularly good at following the rules, but we always have a good time, and were generally safe.

However, luck and blessings can't always be on my side. My instinct was that if these activities kept up at the pace they were going, somebody would probably eventually get hurt. People need to be exposed to, and know how to manage, fear, risk, and danger. Life isn't peaches and bubbles. If "relative danger" can be experienced in a controlled/managed environment, when the real thing happens, the individual may be better prepared to act in the instant when it counts - "exposure therapy."

Spencer, on of the 14 year-olds, had just such and opportunity on activity #4:

He rappelled himself down (the orange line was a backup rope that I controlled) over the raging LCC river to retrieve one of the symbols at the end of the rope. Yea, that is the look of fear in his eyes.

All of these experiences have given me a great idea! What if, when new leaders are put into Scouting, they're given a troop of indestructable scouts to practice on? No blood, tears, or whining! Its brilliant! The leader would be able to get into his groove without the worry of scouts running off into the woods, falling off cliffs, burning forests down, or being eaten by bears!

I'm introducing the first prototype indestructable scout this Fall! Its a spunky little redhead whose full of mischief! Better not turn your back, or you might get an icepick in your neck. Don't fall asleep, or you might wake up dismembered!

Here's a sneakpeak of the spunky little fellow:

My, how things go bad so quickly! I've still got some work to do keeping this little rascal under control:

This was the best money I've ever spent!!!

Now Selling Memberships

2009-05-02T21:04:00.002-06:00

Paid memberships are now available to my exclusive ninja camp. There’s an ammo can behind the climbing wall with a slit in the top. Just stuff the cash in there. It’ll help pay for my two-month sabbatical to Yosemite Summer of 2010, and maybe a new pair of climbing shoes. Mine are pretty beat-up!

Yea, they even get to climb on top of the shed.....

P.S. I'm not responsible for death, injury, illness, numbness, paralysis, scabies, fungal transmission, slivers, splinters, fractures, head trauma, dislocation, damaged emotions, etc. Play at your own risk little Ninjas!!!!

Enter The Dragon

2009-04-30T20:45:00.002-06:00

I found some sweet boards and stuff behind the shed this afternoon. We used them to make a sweet ninja training facility. The kids ran the course, and I shot Lysol laced darts at them with my blow gun. I love it when Ash is out of town!

Drastic Measures

2009-04-30T20:42:00.001-06:00

What to do with your child when you're trying to run a chainsaw nearby...........

A Little On Climing Ropework, Etc.

2009-04-18T21:52:00.006-06:00

There's been some interest in the actual mode of travel and anchorage in climbing. I was out on Mexican Crack in Little Cottonwood early this morning, and took some shots to hopefully add some insight into how things are done.

Below is a picture of a bolt that has been drilled into the rock. Generally, there are two or three of these at the top of each route.

There are two at the top of Mexican Crack. This allows for a permanent attachment point for my ropes when I'm climbing by myself on "top-rope." I climb up one end of the rope and rappel down the other.
Since I generally climb by myself, I stay attached to the rope by means of a Petzl Rescuescender. If I fall, the unit cams to the rope, preventing a splatter. If you look closely, you can see my belly-button hair.

Generally, climbing involves following natural weaknesses in the rock face. Here is a shot of the upper finger-sized crack on Mexican Crack. It really doesn't get better than this!! It's a real beauty.

Insert, and go!!

Boo-tay shot illustrating the crack system.
Climbing shoes make for precise footwork.

Hopefully, this answered a few of the questions hanging out there. Its important to note that the above style of climbing is considered top-roping and thereby limits the fall potential because the rope is anchored at the high-point. Standard lead climbing is completely different and considerably more involved, risky, and complex.

Moonlight Buttress Solo

2009-04-08T21:34:00.006-06:00

View from the road.

Wall anchor, so if I roll of the ledge during the night I won't go too far.

I started the climb at about 10:30 p.m. and did the first three pitches. This shot was taken at my bivy spot/the pee corner on a ledge at about 3 a.m.

Things were getting a little chilly by 4 a.m.

I "slept" in the fetal position until about 6 a.m. when it became too cold to "sleep" anymore. Not a lot of leg room.

This is the bolt ladder off the ledge where I "slept" up to the route's main crack system. I did this pitch the night before so that all I'd have to do is jug the rope in the morning.

View from the top of pitch three. You can see where the river crossing is. Mandatory buck naked crossing, unless you want to climb in wet clothes.

Ropes hanging from the top of pitch three.

The haul back that made the four hours late and prompted a call to the park rangers. I was safe, just slow.

Finally happy because I'm getting close to the top.

Summit hand.

Summit mess.

So sleepy. I still had to pack up and hike down the Angel's Landing trail. I feel like hamburger now, but it was completely worth minute!!!

Training For Dads

2009-04-05T21:35:00.004-06:00

Becoming a parent has been shockingly eyeopening - to say the least. Kids are a meat grinder in every metaphoric sense of the word. Crying, fighting, diapers, chronic clutter and chaos - there in no end to the variety of ways kids can infuriate and otherwise erode your mental well-being.

However, the properly conditioned parent can both survive and thrive, if trained under the right conditions, and in a way to completely break their will and dignity. Only then, out of the ashes, will the Phoenix fly!!

This afternoon, I had a chance to endure just such a training regimine. Here's the rundown:

1) Start by digging a really deep hole. Preferably, somebody has digged in the spot beforehand, and backfilled it with big rocks, and a 150 lb block of concrete.

2) Either use a hose to fill the bottom of the hole with water, or just find a busted valve about three feet down. Either way, you'll need about ten inches of good mud to wade around in.

3) Climb in and out of the hole at least one-hundred times carrying buckets and tools and any other crap you find lying around the yard. If you pull a muscle in your back, all the better. Be sure to completely exhaust yourself to the point of being utterly worthless to anyone for the next several days.

4) If you're the church-going type, train on the same day as, and even during, whatever worship service you're suppose to be attending. The strange and guilt-inducing looks you'll get from those who haven't pushed an ox into the mire adds to the mental element of the training. You're hard-core, and you know it!

Those who hold true to the course will attain levels of power and inner control traditionally held by only savants and mendicants!

Train on, friend. The power is within you!

The Bumcrinkle Plan

2009-04-05T11:43:00.002-06:00

"Be prepared - very prepared." Sage words to live by, and the primary tenant of the Boy Scouts. Modern life feels increasingly more unpredictable, "stinking" of political turmoil, ecological instability, and general uneasienss. Greater forethought and action is then the way of hopefully staving off wasted time, and physical and emotional resource sinks. Introduce my new alter ego, and backup personality for emergency situations, Fester Bumcrinkle.

Situation - You're going about your business, and the phone rings. You answer in the usual manner. The voice on the other end stabs your ear like a dull stick coated in sand and rancid peanut butter. Its your illegitimate half-sister, who subsists on sprouted wheat berries and carmel candies!!

You: "Hello."

Caller: "Blah, blah, Girbaud pants. Blah, blah, blah, head shaped like a cucumber."

Think FAST! Deploy Fester Bumcrinkle!!!

You: "Ah, roight. Uhm, yee. Yew mest heev the rongh neumbah. Thees is Baumcrinkol,
Feester Baumcrinkol."

Caller: "Gobble, gobble. Menstrating, blah-gobble-blah, tunic."

You: "Okey, roight. Cheek the neumbah eand geev it anauthah go. Roight! Buh, boigh. Baumcrinkol out."

Bumcrinkle saves the day! Without Fester, you'd have wasted at least twenty excruciating minutes listening to the rantings of an emotionally unstable human mind parasite!

The Bumcrinkle Principle wholly embodies the idea of modern-day preparedness, and is primly suited for any socially awkward predicament. The Bumcrinkle Plan saves time by protecting you from people who would otherwise tirelessly waste your precious minutes blabbing about whatever ridiculous worldly nonsense clouds their intellect.

Deployment of the Bumcrinkle Plan is best done over the phone or internet, avoiding the face-to-face interaction that could possibly blow your cover. However, an in-person deployment of Bumcrinkle may be fully effective, but totally hinges on channeling one's inner Bumcrinkle in a way that you almost become Fester so completely that your countenance takes on his actual pastey tone, leathery skin, and general awkward twitchiness.

The aggressor becomes so entranced by the hypnotic presence of Fester Bumcrinkle that time seems to almost reverse and their memory becomes blurred. Briskly walk away, and you've safely avoided an otherwise painful encounter. Score one for Team Baumcrinkle!

A voice of caution - be mindful that this is one of "The Dark Arts" borrowed from the Ancients, and also a form of "skinwalking" common to certain modern Native Americans. Also, "skinwalking" as Fester Bumcrinkle should be limited to, at most, three times per year due to clinically proven bio-accumulation of cheekiness.

I once "skinwalked" as a stalk of asparagus, but that's a story for another post.

To The Wescue

2009-03-24T20:25:00.002-06:00

Perspiration poured from my heaving chest and biceps. The wind tore against what remained of my now tattered loincloth, half-soaked in dirt-caked blood. The branches of the tree cracked with each move outward to the tip-end of the limb. Determination pulsed through my veins. A fair maiden gasped in horror at the daring feat before her. The prize was mine - if I could only stay true to the task!!!

That's at least the vision in my head on Saturday afternoon, as I worked through the tangle of kite string and Honeylocust branches several feet off the ground. I did get in a sweet one arm hang, which I'm sure was impressive, but I don't think anyone noticed.

The formula is always the same:

1) Wes perceives somebody in need of rescue/hurt/crying/needing her dog chased away.

2) Wes boldly moves forward in a poorly calculated attempt at offering aid.

3) Wes seriously mangles the Barbie kite stuck in the tree/chases off the dog that would have gotten back in the car, but the crazed bald guy that smells like garlic wouldn't leave it alone/causes irreparable psychological damage, leaving countless years of tears and depression in his wake.

4) Victim now has a busted up Barbie kite that won't fly/ won't be going home for Thanksgiving to see her family because the crazed, smelly bald guy scared the crap out of her dog and it ran into the forest/will spend countless hours in psychotherapy and endless dollars on lifecoach after lifecoach working through the emotional Quagmayer that is now their life.

In the end, the poor girl did get her kite back - just in a mangled pile of torn plastic and tangled string. Good intentions, poor execution. The story of my life.

This One is For Reed

2009-03-15T21:29:00.003-06:00

Dear Reed,

Its been too long! Things have been well, though my psoriasis still hasn't cleared. I've been using the medication you let me borrow, but its left my lower left abdomen numb and disdened. I look like one of those kids from a feakin' Sally Struthers commercial! Will you send ME 26 cents a day?!

I hope you enjoy the above picture. Your signed copy will arrive in the mail shortly. I was doing my best "Magnum," but it came across as more of a "Brown Thunder, I Just Made A Grumpy In My Pants." Its tough to pull off a good "Magnum," or "Blue Steel" for that matter, at that kind of elevation.

Anyway, I send my loves and kisses. I guess I'll be in to work in the morning, barring an abdominal sidewall rupture.

Best Regards,

Wes

Hello Spring! SNAP!!!

2009-03-01T19:27:00.002-07:00

Just wanted to say "Heeeeeay!" to all my homies waiting for Spring to show!

Love Is So Complicated

2009-02-27T21:49:00.003-07:00

When I found this picture of Ashley being courted by a previous suitor, it was all I had not to challenge him to a duel. My heart broke in twain at the thought of losing her to a less-virile man. In the end, however, victory was was mine!!!

Just goes to show, love is only complicated when you're not willing to tear the beating heart out of a man's chest with your bear hands and a spoon. The moral.....always carry a spoon in your pocket!

A Pelvis Is a Terrible Thing to.... Waist

2009-02-27T21:32:00.002-07:00

2009-02-23T21:46:00.003-07:00

Time passes so quickly. JibblieJibblestix is already one...

FooChanWooTanHooChangWoo doesn't have ringworm anymore...

And has lost her intrinsic connection with the natural world...

Jake has finally grown into his head...

And our two gay cats moved in with a guy named Carl...

And it turns out I didn't need that vasectomy afterall.

Time is fleeting, so seize the moment.

The Light Is On

2009-02-23T21:35:00.002-07:00

Sometimes, people ask me if there is a light on in the attic. I usually respond that I keep that light off since I'm trying to conserve electricity.

Thanks For Everything!!!

2009-02-19T08:09:00.005-07:00

Parents do everything for their kids! Moms and Dads are the epitome of sacrifice. They're are infinitely critical to the long-term emotional and intellectual well-being of their children. They help shape a child's self-perception, self-esteem, and ability to act fluidly in a complex world.

So in this fallen world, chronically guilty of gross ingratitude, self-indulgence, and all manner of evil, I think we should all take some time to forget ourselves and thank those who have borne us up on their shoulders. Give thanks to those who have sacrificed their time and energy to invest in our growth and development. Thank those who constantly think of others before themselves, offering a light to the world, and a pattern to follow that allows for true and lasting peace and meaning to an otherwise gray and inverted existence.

Thanks Mom and Dad! Thanks for letting me be me! Thanks for the super-pimp wool sweaters! Thanks for everything! You're the best!

Dad's Saturday Death March

2009-02-18T21:50:00.002-07:00

Nice hiking shoes Foo! You can tell that Ash wasn't involved with the wardrobe selection.

JibbleyJibblestix wore her special lexan respirator to prevent inhalation of any actual fresh air.

FooTanWooPingChan didn't last long walking on her own. Her feet were amputated trailside just above the cankle.

Jake started to suffer from "The Consumption," and had to have a trailside lobotomy.

He was good after that! I can't wait until our next hike!

Cheap Fun in Down Economy

2009-02-18T20:34:00.002-07:00

2009-02-18T17:56:00.000-07:00

Travel Buddy

2009-02-17T19:13:00.003-07:00

Everyone needs a travel buddy! I found mine on the side of a diaper box last night! I didn't quite know what I'd use it for when I cut it out, but I just figured there's always a need out there for cutouts of oversized baby heads. Now if I could just figure out what to do with the oversized cutout of the geriatric elbow.

Having vs. Doing

2009-02-10T18:27:00.003-07:00

This is a really good article I found on CNN.com:

HAPPINESS

This really makes me question why spending and consumerism is the key driver in most of our current economic stimulus policies. I'd personally take a sunny day in the park over a new wool sweater any day!

Lives Less Ordinary

2009-02-05T20:37:00.002-07:00

If I would have been thinking, I would have brought home a pocketful of the moose droppings as proof! I don't mind admitting when I'm wrong, especially when the proof is a pile of frozen little moose jibbies.

A couple of years ago, I'd heatedly (see previous post) argued that moose don't come down that low in Little Cottonwood Canyon. But right there, right smack in the middle of the Quarry trail was a pile of moose jibbies - and a bunch of moose prints in the snow. I guess if it really got technical, I didn't actually see any moose, but there was a pile of moose jibbies!!

It was an exercise in fear management, and a chance to breathe some hopefully clean air. Last night, after the kids went to bed, on a whim, I decided I was going to go for a run/hike in the canyon. Originally, the plan was to head to Bell's canyon, since its a little closer, and seems less freaky at night. As a drove along, the debate in my head raged. At the last second, I opted for Little Cottonwood over Bell's Canyon (I'm really going to miss this if we move).

The decision was driven by: 1) hopefully the air would be a little cleaner higher up in the canyon, and 2) I wanted to experience some genuine fear and work to regulate that fear.

Fear comes in a number of flavors, but I think generally, fear can be categorized as either rational or irrational. For example, I'm hiking along, and Ted Bundy actaully steps out from behind a tree. Yea, that is rational - shat your pants - fear right there. I don't care if you're Bruce Lee with a 50mm howitzer machine gun! Ted Bundy standing in front of you ready to pounce is absolutely a cause for fear!

Conversely, I'm hiking along, and I keep thinking that Ted Bundy is going to pop out from behind a tree and offer me a ride in his sweet Dautsun 210, sans a inside passenger door handle. Yea, Ted's dead, so nuffin' to fear lil' muffin! Just manage the inner voice and keep hiking, until you run into a pile of moose jibbies and accompanying tracks. I don't care if your Bruce Lee with a freakin' rack of nuclear hand grenades! You should be afraid of moose!

Aside from the constant irrational threat of Ted Bundy jacking me, and the rational fear of a moose jacking me, the hike was AMAZING!!! The night sky was clear. The moon and stars were out. Everything was blanketed in a thick frosting of snow. The landscape was absolutely beautiful! It was like being smack in the middle of an Ansel Adams black and white Yosemite portrait. Indescribable!

This world is so beautiful! All it takes is a little effort to pull away from the valueless distractions thrown in our faces, and a willingness to talk yourself past the moose in the trees being ridden by an imaginary Ted Bundy.

The Root of All Happiness

2009-02-05T19:46:00.004-07:00

Who knew that going to the dentist for a cleaning could have such a perception-altering effect.

Sitting in the dentist's chair, I was still steaming from the manic five mile bike ride. If it hadn't been for a more attentive wife, I would have missed the dental appointment altogether. Actually, I wouldn't have missed it, I would have just been a day late. Good thing I have an angel watching over my shoulder.

With the car in the shop, I had ridden my bike to work with the intent of leisurely riding back to pick it up once it was finished having the transmission flushed. Leisurely indeed! More like a rabid, slobbery, half-frozen, half-sweaty, lung-ripping death ride over unshoveled sidewalks from the previous-day's snowstorm. I would have asked for a ride, but I prefer to destroy myself and my health, in feats of ridiculousness. Doesn't it make more sense to get a cold and sore throat that lasts for two weeks and completely drains your energy, rendering you essentially worthless, than it does to ask someone to take twenty minutes out of their day to give you a quick ride?!

My dentist, who I think prefers chatting over working on teeth, asked me if I grind my teeth at night, or play racquetball. He had observed that my rear molars were nearly ground flat. Apparently, racquetball players exclusively suffer from teeth grinding. Off the top of my head, I don't think that I play racquetball.

With characteristic delayed-reaction style, several days later, I concluded that I did indeed NOT play racquetball, but I do grind my teeth when I climb, hyper-extend my pelvis, and pet kittens (my oldest brother use to bite his tongue anytime he would pet an animal - which would vaguely explain the above picture). Brilliant! This means that I can take up racquetball! Anybody want to buy some climbing equipment?! Good thing I tore down that climbing wall in the garage. Now I have room for a racquetball court - if we don't end up moving.

Anywho, I got to looking into the whole teeth grinding thing, and became painfully aware of how stressed out I've been for the last 30+ years! I've always thought that I was a pretty happy guy. As it turns out, I suck at stress management - even with all my sweet Tai Chi moves!

So, why stop at stress management?! Don't we all just want to be happy? Don't we all want to feel at peace in life, and feel like we're contributing to a greater good? I don't want to just settle for effectively not punching holes in walls when I get pissed!! I want to actually walk though life with a genuine smile and feel genuinely happy! Thus begins the quest! And it all started in a sweaty dentist's chair getting my teeth cleaned and contemplating taking up racquetball.

So, it has been said, the mind can make a Heaven of hell, and a hell of Heaven. It starts with a choice, and a little self-awareness.

2009: Chinese Year of the Yam

2009-01-25T20:36:00.003-07:00

This picture clearly illustrates that I have an odd-shaped head. For real! I did spend a year as an elf right out of high school. Besides that, the only other plausible cause would be the 97 hour long labor I put my mom through to bring me into this world. Good things are worth waiting for - good things like yams!

I spent the evening (really about 30 minutes) mixing up this recipe I pulled out of an old veterinary trade journal on treating horses with intestinal worms, gout, scoliosis, the consumption, jaundice, rickets, mastitus, halitosis, dengue fever, jibbley inner-thighs, ringworm, depression and anxiety, lonliness, plague, encephalopathies, psyphillus, and Creutzfeld-Jakob Disease.

I won't bore anybody with the lengthy list of potent ingredients. And potent indeed! I assure you, this organic yam-based (unintentional italicies from here forward - technology is a mysterious beotch!) conglomerate is still burning my feet and cankles from the manual process of mixing and pressing.

I'll probably enter these in the county fair this year - these, and the jaundiced goat I'm nursing back to health in the crawl space under our stairs.

Chevy Traverse

2009-01-18T21:02:00.003-07:00

Chevrolet can't be this stupid. This is a shot of a clip from a Chevy Traverse commercial. It seems a little calculated and a lot inappropriate.

The Nose That Didn't Go

2009-01-11T20:57:00.002-07:00

Some shots of the failed attempt on the Nose a couple of years ago. It still haunts me. Just goes to show that a little knowledge, misapplied, can do a whole lot of damage. Don't they say that big gates swing on little hinges?

Good times so far on the Highway to the Sky! I was already feeling pretty crampy though, and it wasn't even 10 a.m.

That's not the look of fear. Its a look that says, "I've never felt this degree of self-inflicted biochemical/biomechanical destruction before." Full-body muscle cramping and peeing brown urine all day should be an indication that somethings off.

Drew was a CHAMP! I still owe him!

A day later, I could barely move!

I felt on the inside like my hands looked on the outside for about three weeks afterwards. Three months later, my left shoulder and an impinged nerve in my neck were barely recovered. I can't wait to do it all over again! No creatine this time, and a LOT more rest!

Road Hippie

2009-01-10T21:04:00.002-07:00

For those willing to suffer for their art, here's a good one to live on when you're on the road. Extra virgin olive oil, thyme & oregano, & Ezekiel bread. Its like eating the grass clippings that get caked on the underside of a lawnmower.

Is Materialism a Form of Mental Illness?

2009-01-10T10:57:00.002-07:00

Is materialism a form of mental illness? If you take literally the dictionary definition:

"n. Any of various conditions characterized by impairment of an individual's normal cognitive, emotional, or behavioral functioning, and caused by social, psychological, biochemical, genetic, or other factors, such as infection or head trauma. Also called emotional illness, mental disease; Also called mental disorder."

then, yes! Absolutely!

Consider the following article:

http://greatthinkers.suite101.com/article.cfm/oliver_james

Interesting.

So......THERE's My Camera!!!!!

2009-01-08T19:26:00.003-07:00

So, what do you do when you're on the road and you feel like crap? You stop in at the Evanston, Wyoming WalMart and pick up one of their grizzly rotisserie chickens.

So, yea! That is a half-eaten rotisserie chicken on the passenger-side floor of my car. And no, its not still there - its in my trunk now.

Dragon Gone Away

2009-01-05T20:33:00.002-07:00

I was going through some pictures and came across these two of Jake climbing. The first was taken shortly after I first put up the climbing wall in the backyard. The second was taken a year or so later.

They both represent a time of innocence. They also represent how quickly kids grow up, and that you've only got one shot to be with them when they're young. I've done an alright job being around, but I haven't done a good job of being present.

Lately, I've been thinking about how quickly time flies, and how fast the innocence of youth is evaporated away. I need to slow down and enjoy my kids while they're still young. I need to appreciate each moment, and not get so caught up in the distractions in my head. I wish I would have realized this years ago.

One of my resolutions this year is to slow down, and enjoy my kids when we're together. Everything else can wait until they've gone to bed.

Big Puffy

2009-01-05T20:07:00.002-07:00

All else had failed in my effort to overcome the sore throat and cold I've had for a while now. Over the weekend, I decided I'd try simulating a fever by creating the ultimate sweat suit. Two t-shirts, one polypropylene long-sleeved shirt, one down vest, and my favorite jacket in the world - big puffy!

I don't know whether it actually did anything, but at least I was sexy!

2009: The Year of the Organic Yam

2009-01-01T21:05:00.004-07:00

To celebrate the New Year, I'm offering my loyal reader (Thanks Mom!!!) my recepie for OWCFYTWEVOO&OJ's. Thats "Organic Wes's Colon Friendly Yammy Treats With Extra Virgin Olive Oil & Other Junk."

Here are some shots of the action:

Note the EVOO & other junk! I decided at the last minute to leave out the aluminum foil.

The crazy thing is that it comes out looking the exact same as when it went in!!

Product testing.

The above shot is of a fungal growth I once got from licking watermelons at the grocery store.

The recepie is as follows:

- Baked yams
- Oats, ground flax seed, olive oil, ground cloves, ginger, cinnamon, & nutmeg

Mix it all together, put it on a cookie sheet, freeze, thaw, eat.

I'd like to thank my beautiful wife for the assistance in the kitchen, and for the awesome pass I got for Christmas to Momentum climbing gym, and for letting me climb all afternoon without the kids, and for letting me go to Yosemite in May with my long-lost buddy Greg who I happened in to at the gym today. Funny how things just come together when you're living right!! THANKS BABE!!

Greatest Invention Ever!!!

2008-12-28T21:34:00.003-07:00

Sorry for the short posts lately. This is a must have! I bought it for Ash for Christmas at Relax the Back, and have since taken it over as my own. It takes a little creativity and flexibility, but you can give yourself a really good full body massage in about an hour. Since you're in control, you can really target your trigger points and control the intensity and duration of the pressure.
It also comes in handy for herding sheep, goats, and little children. Its called the Theracane, for those interested.

Wintertime Blues

2008-12-28T13:48:00.004-07:00

We're all going nuts, and springtime is still a few months out.

The Future of Goat Farming is Here

2008-12-28T10:44:00.002-07:00

If you're in to goats or spiders, this clip is a must watch!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWGmPqEujaI

Literally, the Whole World in the Palm of My Hand

2008-12-22T22:39:00.003-07:00

I was suppose to be in bed a long time ago.

Check out this sweet application I downloaded from iTunes! It shows all of the pressure/acupuncture/acupressure points for the entire body! The iPod Touch rules!

I'm thoroughly convinced that between YouTube and iTunes, you could pretty much learn everything you need to know to start up a little roadside medical/acupuncture/massage/Shiatsu/loofa distributor/Xango distributor clinic in the back of your van!

Tomorrow, I'm trading in my Camry for a VW Vanagon. This weekend, I'll be parked in the ShopKo parking lot on state and 59th. Bring cash!

"Hey Kid, You Want Some Organic Hemp Oil Kool-Aid?"

2008-12-22T21:46:00.005-07:00

I went on a mission to the West Indies. My first area assignment was in Georgetown, Guyana. Yea, you'd be right if the first thought that popped into your head was "Jim Jones!!!" Don't drink the Kool-Aid!

For as much of a climbing bum, dirtbag, hippie (those were the days) as I had been prior to joining the ministry, it was a bit of a shock to find that bathing in Guyana consisted of filling up a bucket with water, standing in the shower, and pouring bowl-fulls of water over your skin. Thus was the way of the bucket shower. Probably 60 percent of the world's population bathes in the manner, but I can't say that while there I ever did find the merits. It all just felt a little uncivilized and archaic.

Fortunately, time changes perception, and opinion is refined with age.

About a month ago, the memory of my time in Guyana revisited my concious mind, and I reflected back on the bucket showers I had once endured. These memories just happened to coincide with a bit of a revisitation of my always evolving hippie policies and procedures in light of world turmoil, a desire for a greater degree of pain/cold tolerance, my thankless job of saving the planet, and a neurological need to simplify my life and wean myself further from some of the comforts of modern living. Thus was born the newly embraced practice of bucket showers.

A discussion of the merits will follow, but first, here's how I do it:

- Loofa sponge (rags, etc. just don't do the job very well)

- Wouldn't be a bucket shower withou you-know-what!!!

- Dr. Bronner's All-In-One Organic castille soap, made from hemp & olive oil, and a bunch of hippie stuff. You can do everything with this stuff! Laundry, shaving, brushing teeth, etc. And, it's Jewish!

So, why bother? Allow me to offer a justification for the practice.

- It's an awesome early morning wake-up method
- If you use the loofa, you get an awesome full-body massage
- It reduces the amount of soap scum buildup in the shower
- It only takes about 3-4 gallons of water (generously)
- The scrubbing is great exercise!
- Colder the better! Its awesome for the circulatory system!!!
- Limits the amount of chlorine, copper, nickle, etc. exposure, so it's better for your skin and body
-A minimal amount of soap is used because its not constantly being sprayed off by a stream of water

It can be a little cold at first, but the more you move, and the harder you scrub, the warmer you are. Not a big issue in the summer, but my shower is in the basement, and it can get pretty freakin' cold.

More cool ideas for living simply can be found on the following site:

http://www.choosingvoluntarysimplicity.com/

Stay tuned for tips on living off of yams and wild rice!

Hostel III

2008-12-22T21:28:00.002-07:00

Power tools can be a very effective aid in maintaining one's body and personal hygiene. My left big toe has had a line of decay down the center for some time. A few months ago, after repeated attempts to clip back the affected nail, I finally had the great idea of just Dremeling the crap out of the thing, down to the nail bed.

These pictures are pretty crappy, but you can faintly see what the nail looked like about half-way through the process. I forgot to take a "before" picture.

Jibblie-Jibblestix was a fantastic assistant throughout the entire procedure. She offered her binkie in lieu of narcotics.

Mostly done!

Aaaaahhh! A finely Dremeled nail, and barely any blood loss.

This seems to keep the fungus from spreading farther down the nail, and keeps the decay at bay for a couple of months. The treatment prior to this involved creating a hematoma on the nail between the healthy and necrotic tissue. That method was surprisingly extremely effective, and one that I serendipidously happened upon after whacking my toe, and watching the fungal line become depleted as the new nail grew. Eventually, the fungus returned, and I resorted to the Dremel tool. I think I might whack the toe again and see what it does.

Gross Corporate Mass Pre-Frontal Cortical Failure

2008-12-13T11:36:00.006-07:00

Proof!!! You can't say that paint fumes don't affect brain function. I saw this stupidness last Thursday on I-80 headed to Salt Lake. Whoever at Sherwin-Williams though of this marketing campaign should be covered in paint, then shot!!

Roadside Acupuncture

2008-12-13T10:31:00.003-07:00

Sometimes, you have to resort to expedient means in particular situations.

Last Thursday, I was traveling from Rock Springs to Opal, Wyoming. The back side of my left shoulder felt really inflamed. I always pack acupuncture needles with me when I go on the road. Pulling to the side of the highway, I took off my shirt, and placed four needles into the inflamed tissue. It only took about five minutes (mostly because some of the needles were bent and I couldn't get good placements), and I was back on the road!

I left the needles in for about 25-30 minutes, taking them out before my next stop. Amazingly, my shoulder has felt incredible since!! I don't know how it works!

I wonder what a highway patrol person would have said had I been pulled over! Especially in Wyoming! I'm sure fruity things like Acupuncture are frowned upon once you hit the Wyoming border.

Roberto Climbs a Tree

2008-12-13T09:04:00.004-07:00

Once upon a time, there was a little boy named Roberto.......

Facebook Post

2008-12-12T22:40:00.002-07:00

Posted on my Facebook page today:

Rita wrote on your Wall:

"Do you remember in 6th grade making some crazy bet with Mrs. Vickery about some planet alignment or the moon or something crazy and being totally right? I thought you were some sort of kid genius."

My response:

Wes Murray wrote at 10:38pm

Rita....I can't say that I recall having any super-genius, psychic, or telekinetic powers beyond the third grade. All I really even remember from the sixth grade is Billy Cruz standing on his desk mooning the class, David (the kid who wore a lot of purple) having emotional meltdowns, and Teresa Anderson. I also remember a curly-haired blonde kid from Kindergarten named Terry who would run around the Big Toy showing his "wang" to people out of a hole in his pants. He wasn't with us long though.

One more thing....I also remember a gray pair of pants I use to wear in the sixth grade. They were bought on sale at Fred Meyer, and I accidentally dripped some melted wax on them, so I they looked like I had peed my pants! I wore them anyway, usually with my Alf t-shirt.

Super-genius, no. Hopelessly insecure, hells yea!! Funny how self-perception can be so off from how others perceive us at times.

Thanks for the nostalgia! Now, back to my psychotherapist to undo the damage.

The Dark Arts & Mexican Papaya

2008-12-10T23:20:00.005-07:00

Alone, in my Rock Springs hotel room, I quietly slipped into something comfortable, produced Excalibur from my jacket pocket, and proceeded to dissect and consume the two-pound Mexican papaya before me. The fleshy mass was dispatched with animalistic efficiency.

Total time from counter to gut - 2 minutes 34 seconds.

I've the biomechanics of an aggressive consumer.

Prefrontal & Motor Cortical Cooperation

2008-12-10T23:00:00.004-07:00

Jibillie Jibblestix

2008-12-09T20:04:00.004-07:00

Look who came in the post for me today! What a great surprise after a long day in Price, Utah.

New Pants

2008-12-07T21:59:00.001-07:00

Ash picked up some sweet new pants for me on Saturday! They're slim fit. I think they go great with my organic Patagonia wool sweater that I got off eBay and still haven't washed.

2008-12-07T21:25:00.000-07:00

I don't know how acupuncture works. I can't even spell the word without spell-check. Though it seems to do the trick for issues of mild inflammation.

My shoulder has been bugging me for a little while, not like an injury, but like muscle tissue that's just not riding right within the parameters if its biomechanical range. I did feel the beginnings of a minor shoulder tweak yesterday afternoon as I was doing the exit move on Bong Eater, up the canyon, but this issue is probably more related to how I position my arm when I carry the kids.

In the past, acupuncture hasn't worked for me on injuries. I've really only found it useful on things like tennis elbow - inflammation related disorders.

The needles are only inserted through the skin, and just barely into the muscle tissue, for a total depth of maybe 3-4 mm, depending on body fat composition. I don't buy into the who "Chi" theory stuff. My guess is that by inserting the needle into the tissue, the inflammatory response of the tissue somehow gets overridden, and some other biochemical process begins to help heal the condition.

Also, acupuncture alone won't provide lasting tissue repair. Massaging will reorient the tissue fibers, and corrective exercises and stretching will strengthen the target muscle and those around it.

Get your Chi on too! You can buy anything on eBay, and learn anything on the internet!

Get Your Third-World On

2008-12-07T19:34:00.000-07:00

This is a nice way to make a month's worth of beans for about four dollars

I boiled two pots of mixed beans (pinto, red, garbanzo, anasazi, & black). Once cooled, I drained the beans (and drank the bean juice-booyah), and laid them out on cookie sheets, then placed them in the freezer.

Freezing the beans like this prevents clumping, making them easier to thaw and eat later on. Rather than one large, frozen bean mass, you get a bag full beans similar to frozen veggies or berries.

Canned beans have their place, but there are also issues with the chemicals used in the linings of cans. Its a toxic world, and I'm sure there are issues with this method as well - ziploc bags, etc.

Why beans? They're cheap for one. Beans are also incredibly nutritious! They're packed with antioxidants, protein (though not a complete amino acid profile), complex carbohydrates and fiber, and a host of minerals like magnesium, iron, and calcium.

Beans are an awesome food storage option! If stored properly, they'll last for decades.

Do your colon a huge favor, and stick it to THE MAN at the same time!!

Protector of the Wool

2008-12-06T22:13:00.000-07:00

I made a quick day trip to Evanston, Wyoming Friday to take care of some matters at a couple of the gas plants in Painter Canyon, and cover a few other outstanding issues in the area.

The Chevron & BP gas plants are accessed by dirt road through private property. Its about a five mile drive off the main highway to the Chevron Painter Plant main office, then another two miles to the production facility on top of the hill.

The property is owned by a private individual who leases it to the oil companies. Therefore, the primary use of the land is for sheep,
cattle, and one HUGE freakin' sheep dog!

I was clipping along the dirt road in my '99, my mind focused on who I would be meeting with and the details I needed to cover. I came over the crest of a hill and discovered a sea of sheep covering the land. It was a fulfillment of one of my life's dreams, to cover the world with wool!

I slowed the car, bringing it to a stop. I was going to see if I could catch a sheep! I stepped out of the car and surveyed the area. By my estimate, over one thousand sheep covered an area of about 4 acres. As if like a wilderness ninja, out of nowhere appeared a HUGE white sheep dog just a few feet away!! It just stood there, sizing me up, determining whether I represented a real threat to the billions of sheep placed in its charge.

Extremely hesitant, I held my position, but the massive animal continued to approach, bearing its teeth. I was pretty nervous at this point, but didn't want to make any sudden movements. Instead, I held out my hand as a gesture of friendship.

Convinced I wasn't going to grab a bunch of sheep and stuff them in my trunk, the dog quickly became friendly, too friendly. The next thing I knew, I was being shoved against the side of my car, the animals' gigantic paws pushing hard against my chest.

I fought off the attempted licking, and got him back on all fours, scratched him behind the ears and on the back, and got back into my mobile canine protection unit.

That's the last time I try to steel sheep from a big white sheep dog in Wyoming.

Port-A-Walden

2008-12-06T22:08:00.000-07:00

Reed caught me in an unscripted moment of meditation late last week. Now I'm going to have to find a new hiding place!

Self-Belay Toprope Set-Up For "Running" Laps

2008-12-06T19:53:00.000-07:00

I've had a number of people ask how I set up my system for self-belayed toproping. The picture to the right shows the basic set-up. I run a Petzl Rescuescender and Microscender off of stainless steel clevises connected directly to the two belay loops on my harness. On steep routes, I use my Metolius Wally harness because it does have the two belay loops. Most harnesses only have one, in which case you either only use one self-belay mechanism on a single line, or you tie a second belay loop to your harness with 11/16 inch webbing.

I go for the extra cautious effect with the two
ropes. I've got too much to lose if something in the system fails, so I max out the safety margin as mush as possible. That's another reason why I use the stainless steel clevises. They're extremely strong, and keep the load in alignment with the equipment. Standard caribiners have a tendency to rotate, which could lead to a load on the spine of the biner, rather than the axis, resulting in a higher likelihood of equipment failure.

The next picture show the two ropes going to the top of the route. I should have taken a picture of the anchor, but those change from route to route anyway. Bong Eater has two 3/8 inch bolts with hanger and links of chain. I usually equalize the two bolts, then set a backup anchor with some TCU's in a crack above and to the right of the permanent anchors. I don't like where the bolts were drilled. Rapping this route puts a lot of pull on the anchors. If I had a hammer drill, I'd redo this one for sure!

Once everything is set, the drill is as follows:

-Climb route

-Rappell route

-Repeat until failure, or unbearable guilt from being away from home too long

There are an innumerable number of system configurations and pieces of equipment to use for self-belayed toproping. I've just found this method best suits my safety requirements. I'm sure you would be fine with a single rope and self-belay device. I ran a system like that for a long time, but then I kept having kids and I just had to beef up the system for my own emotional comfort. Its not worth the effort if you go home in a body bag.

I'll do some more posts like this in the future. I wanted to get some other shots of the system, but its a little tough when you're running both the ropes and camera.

We Have Come Four the Rock

2008-12-06T15:40:00.000-07:00

Strange encounter at the Bong Eater Buttress in Little Cottonwood Canyon this afternoon!

Free Range Kittens and the Watermelon King

2008-12-05T22:09:00.000-07:00

My dreams have always been strange, non-sensical, and mostly illogical shotgun plots that lack a central theme, storyline, general message, or even a private service announcement. Like a dream I head earlier this week where I accidentally peed my pants in the highschool bathroom. That was it. Nothing before, and nothing after. Everything just went black.

Most of my dreams are gone and forgotten long before I wake up. But, a few times, these dreams, even long after they've done their little neuron dance inside my skull, continue to live on like a crazy uncle that just won't die.

It must have been ten years ago when I pushed open the small wooden door. There was just enough clearance that if I ducked my head a few inches, it would clear the top of the door frame. Stepping inside of the A-frame building, I half-choked on the dusty air. The sunlight coming through the windows was dulled by the dirt and dried feces on the brown stained glass. The wire mesh protecting the window bases had a thick coating of matted animal hair. We stepped inside and walked fifteen or twenty feet along the soft dirt floor, and stopped to talk. I don't recall anything that was said, only that I had on blue denim pants, and she (Ashley) wore a light-brown wool skirt that seemed to match my light-green wool sweater.

Without warning, sharp, piercing stabbing sensations began around my calves and mid-thigh. I looked down to find three or four small, frantic kittens rabidly clawing up my blue denim pant legs. Their yellow and black eyes were manic as they pierced their needle point claws through my clothing, and into my flesh. Panic and alarm gripped us both. What had been a pleasant conversation was now a fight to stay in control of a situation that was rapidly turning perilous. Thankfully, upon reaching my shoulders, the kittens calmed themselves, began purring in sleepy kitten rythm, and the pandemonium subsided.

Satisfied that we were now safe from the immediate threat of death by kitten, the girl (Ashley) and I looked around to find ourselves being swarmed my a literal heard of kittens - kittens of every breed and color. A flood of calico kittens was pouring in from the opposite end of the building like a tsunami of fur and kitten breath. It was like a sea of melted cosmopolitan ice cream flowing around our feet, only, it was a pulsing wave of kittens - free range organic kittens.

Like sheep, this tidal flood of kittens followed me en mass through the A-frame building. I was the shepard, the kittens were my flock.

This dream must have occured during the summer because, shortly after becoming the kitten king, I was awaken with an intense need to pee. Back then, consuming a watermelon between the hours of eight and ten p.m. was a regular practice of mine, and a perfect explanation for the polyphonic dream and the hasty need to evacuate my bladder.

Audieu mighty Kitten King. Until we meet again one summer's eve when the melon juice flows rich and sweet, the slumber is sufficiently long, and the sheets are 3 mil reinforced plastic with appropriate drainagae.

Meow.

Ummmmmm..........Ecocide

2008-12-01T11:59:00.000-07:00

I had the good fortune of roaming the badlands of Wyoming today via my '99 Toyota Camry. My travels took me to such exotic locales as Opal, Kemmerer....erer, Evanston, LaBarge (the band), Smokey Robinson, Green River, & Rock Springs. Riding shotgun was a steaming pile of apple cores, rotting banana and organge peels, and a half-gallon of sour goat milk, all of which I'm saving for when I start my goat farm.

If you really want to get technical about it, my car is kind of like a mobile compst pile. There's always some form of orgaic matter decomposing somewhere in my car. Beit old jerky, papaya skins, mango peels, watermelon rinds, or crusty goji berries, you'll always find something growing or decomposing either under a seat, in the trunk, or right down by your feet. Its fun! Compost delivery will be available starting in February. That's when the batch in the trunk should be through "cooking."

Anyway, in between stops, I usually listen to an audiobook, or viualize sweet Tai Chi moves. Today I was listening to Jared Diamon's audiobook, "Collapse." He used a sweet new word that I've never heard before, but that seems particualarly poigninat for our times. The word - ECOCIDE - refers to large-scale destruction of the environment. The book chronicles civilazation after civilazation that failed due in large part to - though not exclusively - gross mismanagement of their natural resources.

A classic recent example of this stye of mismanagement was the Forest Service's policy of managing wildfires. For a long time, wildfires were immediately suppressed, typically being extinquished in under twenty-four hours. Unfortunately, this practice disrupted the natural cycle of burning away undergrowth, which was then allowed to accumulate. We all know the rest of the story. Lightning strikes, the generous biomass burns higher and hotter than normal, and the once resiliant trees succumb to the intense heat, and the seedbank in the soil gets roasted! Nothing is left but barren land primed for an infestation of noxious weeds.

Wiki - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ecocide

We live in a day of great political, social, and environmental turmoil. I'm scared for my kids. What are we going to have to hand off to them? Are we squandering thier future now so that we can have our massive wardrobes, processed industrial garbage that passes for food, huge homes, fresh goat milk trucked in from California, bananas and mangos from Mexico, blah, blah, blah. We've all heard it before. Its just hippie noise now.

It just gets really tiring seeing a small handful of people profit by turning our resources into "cash and cheap calories" at the expense of the masses. Open space gets plowed under so that some guy can build condos. He gets a pile of cash, and we get screwed out of our view of the mountains. Real nice Mr. Bling!

Women In Trucks

2008-11-29T20:28:00.000-07:00

Jake and I rode our bikes to the grocery store a couple of days ago to grab some milk and orange juice. There was a chill to the air as we rode through the neighborhood, and I enjoyed the cold sensation on my fingers and cheeks. It made me feel a little more alive, and reminded me of times when I'd been out in the cold, digging in the soil, or climbing in the mountains. My favorite guilty pleasure in life is to be in the mountains, freezing cold, with the snow blowing down all around. Peaceful, quite, a hint of physical suffering, and celestial whiteness coming in from every direction. Man! Sign me up anytime!

There wasn't any celestial whiteness to be seen as we rode along 13th East, but it did give me time to think, and let my thoughts wander in whatever direction. These days, I'll take whatever mental inhibition I can get. Those opportunities are few, and precious to be had!

We successfully procured the milk & O.J. - no pulp. Not my first choice, but I rarely drink the stuff anyway.

Back on the bikes, it was through the parking lot, and up the little hill past the Taco Bell. Jake started to struggle with the incline and had to hop off his bike to make it.

A white, rusted, older model Chevy pickup was parked in front of the Taco Bell. Inside, three teenage girls and a older middle-aged woman watched as Jake struggled along. These small challenges are good for his development, so I gave a little encouragement. I was vaguely aware that we were being watched, but not aware enough that I tried to act like a better parent than I actually am.

With the lesson in character building over, Jake got back on his bike and readied himself for the next leg of the ride. Just then, the rusty Chevy pulls out a little ways, then stops. The driver's window rolls down, and a woman leans out and tells me how adorable my son is. It catches me a little off guard, and I try to be gracious and thankful for her praise of my ability to reproduce an aesthetically appealing offspring. The three teenage girls in the cab seem a little embarrassed, yet giggly, and smile throughout the encounter.

Oddly, I had a feeling that this exchange wasn't over. Sure enough, the woman again tells me how cute Jake was on his little green Hot Wheels bike, riding along like a big boy. Then, she holds out a five dollar bill and tells me that I should use it to get Jake and I some drinks at the Taco Bell. I didn't think this kind of thing happened in Sandy, Utah, of all places.

I've never been smooth when cornered, put on the spot, or offered money by older middle-aged women with a vast acreage of tan cleavage, and missing more teeth than myself. Indeed, my discomfort level was beyond measure, but I managed an sufficient explanation that placated this woman's desire to assist in lending sustenance to a couple of weary travelers. We rode swiftly away, me perplexed, and Jake curious about the newly discovered feminine mystique.

What brought this encounter on? Did we look homeless, or otherwise in need? What was her motive? Was she trying to impress the three teenage girls crammed into the cab of the truck?

Eventually, I decided that some things just defy logic, and expending mental energy on these matters, especially on a holiday weekend, is futile, and just not worth the effort. We managed our way back home, milk and juice sloshing along in my backpack, five dollars poorer, but, somehow, exponentially richer in the wisdom of the world.

Organica: Just Drink the Cool-Aid

2008-11-29T19:07:00.000-07:00

Pick up some bulk powered Turmeric & Ginger from your local "hippie store." I buy mine from Good Earth.

Equal parts ginger to turmeric. Make enough to store in a jar to keep in the fridge.

Yum!

Mix.

Add fluid. I do water, but juice works too.

Imbibe!! Can you see the terror in my eyes? It tastes like crap, but it makes my emotional pain seem not quite as stinging.

Turmeric and ginger are potent herbs, loaded with some powerful antioxidants!! A couple of glasses of this each day, and you'll be well on your way to the happy land of Organica!

Hike to Red Pine Lake - Little Cottonwood Canyon

2008-11-29T17:58:00.000-07:00

I talked Jake into going to Red Pine Lake with me this afternoon.

One mile in, everybody is still smiles.

Two miles in.

Three miles in, and a few more layers....for Jake.

Getting closer.

Summit shot!!! Good job Jake!

One mile down from the lake. It's getting chilly, but we were moving fast!!!

Jake thought he might not make it!

Wet and tired, Jake barely survived. I may have to pay him to do another one of these hikes.

Drake Family Farms

2008-11-27T07:36:00.001-07:00

Ever had goat's milk before? On the way to work yesterday morning, I stopped in at Whole Foods to pick up some blueberries for a morning work party.

The night before, I saw an episode of Oprah featuring people who live past the age of 100! In the episode there were several references to drinking goat's milk, which has a more easily digested protein than cow's milk.

After grabbing the blueberries, I scanned the dairy isle, and finally located the goat's milk. The brand that I've bought in the past was out of stock, but I did find a local version from a goat farm in West Jordan.

The milk was fantastic! Way better than the goat's milk I've had before. Later that morning, I called the phone number on the jug, and talked to the owner of Drake Family Farms (http://www.drakefamilyfarms.com/).

Drake family farms has about 80 goats in milk production, and 250 goats total. They sell goat milk, including raw goat milk, directly from the store on the property. They also offer tours of the farm!! I think I'll take the kids out there on Saturday.

Jake Getting Crossfit

2008-11-22T17:39:00.000-07:00

Last week, after much deliberation, I picked up a 300 lb. Olympic weight set so that I could mix up the training routine a little. If Jake keeps training like this though, he's going to be putting up the 45's in no time!!

If you get a minute, and want a nice alternative to traditional workouts, check out the following site for Crossfit:

http://www.crossfit.com/

A SLC, Ut version of this style:

http://www.gymjones.com/

At little freaky, but no cool-aid required.

The Sanctioning of BigWall Jake

2008-11-22T17:27:00.000-07:00

Oats, Cinnamon, & Olive Oil - The Perfect Meal

2008-11-21T21:19:00.000-07:00

This is by far my favorite speed meal! It is quick, easy, and is packed full or the finest of nutrients to keep the system fueled and super-charged. The mix is as simple: several slices of Ezekiel Bread (aka Hippie Bread), ground cinnamon, and Spectrum Mediterranean Extra Virgin Olive Oil. I live off of this crap!!!

Toast the bread & drizzle the shizzle out of the olive oil. You can't use too much!!

Sprinkle on tons of ground cinnamon.

Now, partake of the whole-grain, oily, cinnamon goodness. You'll thank you, your colon will thank you, and in thirty years, your heart will thank you.

Low-down:

- Ezekiel Bread is a little spendy, but you get what you pay for. The other breads in the store are calorie rich, but nutrient poor, which is a big reason why most of us are over-fed, but under-nourished. Ezekiel Bread is pre-sprouted and truly whole grain. It's a little rough going down, but the colon needs that kind of stuff! It's also easier to digest, and won't gum up your system like the rest of the garbage that passes for "food."

- The Extra Virgin Olive Oil is rich in Omega 9 fatty acids. The ideal diet has an Omega 3-6-9 ratio of 1:2:1, or thereabouts. However, with the rise of the food processing industry, and the availability of cheap calories, most North Americans are more in the ratio of 1:50:10. Its no wonder we have such a high rate of heart disease in this country! Omega 3's protect the heart, and Omega 6's are a precursor to an inflammatory molecule that leads to heart disease. So, put down the french fries, and the Hidden Valley dressing, and eat some fish and broccoli (real food).

- The Cinnamon has a potent antioxidant that helps protect the heart, among other things. It also reminds me of the cinnamon rolls my friends and I would steal from Tom Freeman's grandma's refrigerator. DELICIOUS! I'd give up all my hippy ways for a plate full of those things! They're my methanphatamine!!!

Enjoy! Remember, eat food, real food, and not the garbage that's marketed to us every time we walk in a store or turn on the t.v.

Friday Night Dinner

2008-11-21T21:10:00.000-07:00

This is another of my favorite power meals! I was on my own for dinner tonight, so here's the dish: Ezekiel Bread, sliced garlic, oregano & basil, cheese.

If you can't tell what to do from this picture..........you can't be helped.

Ditto.

Shaaazam!! You just saved yourself $27.95.

Low-Down:

- Garlic: You stink. It will keep you from being with people you shouldn't be around anyway.

- Cheese: It doesn't get any better than cheese.

- Ezekiel Bread: No better source of fuel.

- Olive Oil: It's been around for thousands of years. What more can you say?! (Only buy good quality oil, and KEEP IT REFRIGERATED!! Polyunsaturated fats go RANCID easily with exposure to light, oxygen, and heat. Rancid food = rancid body!!)

Engage Bionic SuperCoat........ENGAGE!!!

2008-11-19T21:55:00.000-07:00

Believe In Me

2008-11-19T21:38:00.000-07:00

Ninjas Among Us

2008-11-19T21:10:00.000-07:00

...Attack when they are unprepared, make your move when they do not expect it.

Be extremely subtle, even to the opint of formlessness.

Be extremely mysterious, even to the point of soundlessness;

Thereby you can be the director of the opponent's fate.

SUN TZU, The Art of War